You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
