Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
