I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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