But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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