So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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