I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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