I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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