Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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