i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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