I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
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