First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
My vagina just recognized that song.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
