the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
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Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”