Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?

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(805): i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns? http://tfl.nu/p7xv

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?

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(203): Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night? http://tfl.nu/k5ad

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(313): View more from Michigan

I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.

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(313): I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son. http://tfl.nu/7jxb

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.

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(610): Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man. http://tfl.nu/0eqn

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(512): View more from Texas

got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule

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(512): got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule http://tfl.nu/94hw

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(520): View more from Arizona

my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands

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(520): my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands http://tfl.nu/9efg

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(503): View more from Oregon

I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME

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(503): I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME http://tfl.nu/s14f

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(816): View more from Missouri

he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.

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(816): he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard. http://tfl.nu/weqf

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(940): View more from Texas

Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.

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(940): Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him. http://tfl.nu/o9z5

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(647): View more from Ontario

A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".

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(647): A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe". http://tfl.nu/rgh4

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(985): View more from Louisiana

He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.

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(985): He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period. http://tfl.nu/gmxu

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(801): View more from Utah

I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.

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(801): I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens. http://tfl.nu/q3si

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(940): View more from Texas

I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast

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(940): I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast http://tfl.nu/pow4

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(647): View more from Ontario

You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party

(1-647): View more from Ontario

That was you...

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(647): You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party (1-647): That was you... http://tfl.nu/3f5k

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(315): View more from New York

New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..

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(315): New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own.. http://tfl.nu/1bvs

Replies (5) Good night (148) Bad night (299) Order T-Shirt

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