: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD