It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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