i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize