i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize