Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
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Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind