Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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