is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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