I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
