Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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