Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
