before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
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