I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
