Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Randomize