we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
