so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The uberlube is also flammable
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
