Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Come on in and take your pants off
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