I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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