I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
