I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Randomize
