do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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