Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize