It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
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After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
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I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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