There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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