you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
