she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
