Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to rekindle our bromance
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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