Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize