I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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