You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
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After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
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Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
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