if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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