that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
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Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.