Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬