oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?