mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship