I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
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It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
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You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.