Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..