I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
