: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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