ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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