why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She's the barista slut.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
