She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
