their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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