i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
