Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
