She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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